Did you laugh today?

Joke_F1

1) Worldly Comfort

A few days ago Iran and some other countries signed an anti-nuclear agreement. Both sides said it was a win-win situation.

The American President, Barrack Obama, held an announcement session in the White House with Vice-President Joe Biden on his side. At one point Biden whispered, “Good job, boss.” If you watched it closely, he was trying to pick his nose discreetly and said, “Golly, that’s big.”

2) Prescient Feng Shui

My trusted Mr. Feng Shui warned me that my qi (氣) looked ominous and he’s afraid that my father was going to die soon. I didn’t know what to do, so I told my dad and asked him to be  careful. He acted really worried for a week, waiting for a truck to hit him. A few days later my mother told me in tears that our long-time gardener passed away.

3) Taking Care of Your Parents

Filial piety (孝)used to be one of China’s moral values. Children were supposed to take care of their elderly parents. Nowadays, a parent counts herself lucky if her child leaves home before sixty. Oedipus killed his father 5 centuries too early.

4) Good Medicine

Speaking of age, as you grow into the 60’s, your health generally goes downhill. Certain bodily functions stop working. I was telling my good friend Doctor Lo (his real name) about my problems. He said he had some samples of Viagra pills that he could give me for free. The pills were labeled “Starter Pack” on the outside. What do you do after 5 minutes, Doc?

5) Gender Discrimination

I love taking walks at Lake Chabot in my new neighborhood. It’s got a beautiful lake and miles of well-maintained hiking trails. It also has lots of parking. The fee for a car is $5, which is reasonable. There is also a sign that says “Dog Fee: $2.” Do bitches enter for free?

6) Lobotomy

Lobotomy is the taking of some part or parts from your brain. The same is claimed by meditation. More than a few close friends recommended meditation to me as a remedy for my quick temper and agitation. God, I already feel like a lobo at times. How much more empty do you want this brain to be?

Life could seem like a daily grind. I hope you smooth it with a lubricant called “yuks and hugs” once in a while. Even bad dirty jokes may be worth laughing at. Happy day!

*** The End ***

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This entry was posted in 幽默.

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