Confession of a Non-Believer

I was a confident atheist most of my life – 60 years minus about 10 days before and 10 days after I was baptized as a Catholic in my years of a pubescent patsy. Then last year – forgive this broken recorder one more time – I became very sick and almost died. When I returned from the respite of unconsciousness, I didn’t know why this healthy body that exercised an hour daily would suffer an aneurism. I worked out regularly willing a bulge would grow on my biceps in each arm, only to discover later that it went quietly to the aorta instead. Neither did I understand why I didn’t die. Statistically I should have been a goner.

With due respect to all readers who are devout followers of their individual faiths, my mental block against religions as controlling institutions is still there. But lately something strange happened in the face of this life-long objection. I found myself humming the song Amazing Grace so frequently that I knew all the words. Well, it’s a simple song so it’s not hard for this uncomplicated mind to remember. It’s soothing to sing it and sometimes the words go to my heart and bring out the tears in my eyes.

I admit that I am not so certain and arrogant any more in terms of the existence or non-existence of a higher being. You may call that being Him or Her, God or Goddess, Allah or Buddha, Deity or Providence, or simply Grace. But there’s something very mysterious and very boggling out there. I can’t prove it one way or the other. But somebody with the name of Brian Doerksen is quite sure of it. Doerksen wrote a song called Creation Calls. Regardless of its obviously religious overtures, it’s a beautiful poem even to a cynic like me. His song didn’t come to me in a dream or by some other inexplicable conduit. My good friend MP sent it to me through cyberspace.

Creation Calls
Lyrics by Brian Doerksen

I have felt the wind blow
Whispering your name
I have seen your tears fall
When I watch the rain
How could I say there is no God
When all around creation calls
A singing bird, a mighty tree
The vast expanse of open sea
Gazing at a bird in flight
Soaring through the air
Lying down beneath the stars
I feel your presence there

I love to stand at ocean shore
And feel the thundering breakers roar
To walk through golden fields of grain

With endless bloom horizons fray
Listening to a river run
Watering the Earth
Fragrance of a rose in bloom
A newborn’s cry at birth

How could I say there is no God
When all around creation calls
A singing bird, a mighty tree
The vast expanse of open sea

Confession of a Non-Believer

I love to stand at ocean shore
And feel the thundering breakers roar
To walk through golden fields of grain
‘Neath endless blue horizons fray

I believe
I believe
I believe

For a very enjoyable video version of this song, go to: www.andiesisle.com/creation/magnificent.html

*** The End ***

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