Busy Time for High School Seniors – and Their Parents

High School Seniors1Veterans Day was last Wednesday. On this day annually we honor the soldiers who served this country so that the rest of us could live in peace. I propose that we not only pay tribute to the American GI’s, but to all soldiers – allies and enemies alike – because they all fought wars most of us didn’t want to be a part of.

Youngsters in the United States don’t have to join the military any more. They used to. The draft was eliminated in 1973 after the Vietnam War. Instead, when they come of age at seventeen or eighteen, they have something a little more exciting, yet at the same time quite stressful, looming upon them. That is called college application. Unofficially, Veterans Day is the day when the weight of the process starts building up.

My own children are grown and independent now. So I haven’t thought about this ritual of adulthood for a while. Until I was asked to write a recommendation letter for a friend’s son who will be sending out the first of about ten applications to different colleges soon. Did I say ten applications? Each application requires a fee of about $100. Ten applications mean $1,000 from Mom and Pop’s hard-earned bank account. Who says education is cheap? And that’s before your child gets accepted.

I don’t know how much my recommendation would help. I wish my letterhead had the words “United States Senator XYZ” on top. The title of CEO of a Fortune 500 company would look good too. To introduce myself as an unbusy-real-estate-broker-turned-fledgling-weekend-writer probably isn’t going to command much attention. On the other hand, I actually know someone, a B+ student as far as I could tell who got in the Air Force Academy with a recommendation letter from a State Senator. I have no proof that the letter was the deciding factor of admittance. But at the same time, I have never heard of a B+ student getting in the very competitive Air Force Academy without exigent help either.

Thinking back a few years, my kids, my wife and I didn’t spend an exorbitant amount of time and effort trying to get them into “dream” schools. We did however use school tours as an excuse to travel to different states for mainly recreational purposes. Sure we visited Harvard, MIT, Yale, Princeton and a few others. My favorite campus was Princeton University in New Jersey: small, well-kept, and elegant, almost like a well-dressed, but not to the extent of being gaudy young lady. It would be nice if they got in, I thought. And I would come to visit, perhaps once a year. They didn’t get in. They both ended up at what most rankings would call “A-” schools. I used quotation marks because they turned out to be schools my kids were quite happy with; hence in our book they are considered class A schools.

My point is this. Help your kid find a school that he or she will enjoy. We are talking about four years of their life here. Is he the academic type? Or is she really into sports? Science? Or fine arts? There are many schools that are particularly good at certain areas although they don’t have the prestige of an Ivy Leaguer. Undecided? Find her a big school that has a lot of programs so that she could change majors later. I think the worst service we can do to our kids is to pressure them into disciplines we couldn’t get in when we were their age.

My oldest boy, when he was a sophomore at college, once asked me this: High School Seniors2
“Dad, did you and Mom want me to go to medical school after college?”
“When did your Mom and I ever tell you that?”
“Well, I thought all Asian parents want their kids to go to med school, don’t they?”
“Sorry, kid, not your parents. If you want to be a doctor, that’s wonderful. But you don’t do that for me. You do that for yourself – and your patients.

My son I think was relieved. He took classes he liked and enjoyed himself. He really liked Chemistry and Biology. Now he’s in graduate school doing research, still in Chemistry and Biology. He found his niche.

My younger son was a sports enthusiast. So two years later when it was his turn to finish high school I suggested ABC College to him, which was and still is the most winning NCAA school in the country. He had a ball there for four years. He works full-time now.

If there is a school where your child can be happy and learn something at the same time, that’s the school for her. I hope you and your child have fun together in this Easter Egg Hunt for colleges. Who knows, she may find a dinosaur egg.

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2 thoughts on “Busy Time for High School Seniors – and Their Parents”

  1. Parents’ role in coaching their kid(s) for his or her higer educatoon is to inspire and search the main point of interest(s) where their kid loves very much to do. Parents never have to decide, let the kids decide is always the right move. Do not force the kids in any way what the parents want. Should always be the kids want. Respect the kids to make the right choice, and always keep patient with kids, they will eventually find the way out.

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