Let’s Lighten Up!

1.  My family and I live in northern California. A lot of my friends and I dream about sending our kids to nearby letslightenup1Stanford University, which has produced a whole assortment of high tech billionaires. One of my children goes to graduate school in the East Coast. Many years ago when I asked him why he didn’t choose Stanford, his reply was: Stanford is a good institution. But I don’t want to be confined in a local institution.

2. A fussy customer, after spending half an hour in the aisles, picked up a bottle of shampoo. She walked over to the cashier to pay for it.

Cashier: Did you find everything alright?
Customer: No, you don’t seem to have anything I want!
Cashier: I’m so sorry, ma’am. Can you tell me what you were looking for, maybe I could help?letslightenup2
Customer: Never mind. Just ring this up.
Cashier: OK, would you like a bag for this?
Customer: Yes, put it in a big bag, so that I could use it for trash later. You do have big bags, don’t you?
Cashier: That we do. Would this one be a good size? It should be big enough for a big head.

3. Being a non-Caucasian immigrant in the United States sometimes has its benefits, despite periodic and curious although polite double-takes you receive in prairie states like Wyoming, Montana and places like that. The other day a friend asked me the correct opposite for the word “alienable.” That was for her young child’s school work. I told her either “inalienable” or “unalienable” would be correct.

She said, “You sure?
I said, “Trust me. I am an alien.”

*** The End ***

 

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