Aging Fast and Furious

I was a feisty sixty-year old
Just a few weeks ago

An octogenarian now
Wobbling like a new-born calf

I tell my family
Before I get into the shower
To have their cell phones ready
In case I fall in the tub
Turn myself into a jellyfish

When the elusive winter sun sneaks out
I tell people I will be at the front yard and about
Lest I freeze and become part of the nativity crowd

The government took away my driving privilege
To stop on the road a suicidal carnage

Vouchers for subsidized paratransit vans came today
To help me get to and from medical appointments
To help me perhaps meet some rich old bimbos

Aging Fast and FuriousLook at the bright side of things
The frontal lobe tells the middle and rear parts of my brain
Your children had called often
Seemed genuinely concerned about your welfare
You stay in your sister’s house
She and her husband cook you three meals a day
Wash your dirty laundry
Take you everywhere
In exchange for
Your moans and groans

I feel like Hugh Hefner
Wearing sleeping clothes twenty-four hours a day
Ha, Dowager Ci Xi 慈禧 of China couldn’t have had it better
Now all I need is some bright red silk pajamas
And a kilo of high quality poppy from some English ship
And I’ll be singing and dancing hip, hip, hip….

*** The End ***

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