People ask me where I am from once in awhile. This question usually refers to where I was born and raised. The expected answer is “Country X.” Sometimes when I am in a good mood, I’ll say “California” just to mess with the other person a little.

It’s interesting that most native-born Americans wouldn’t ask a stranger that question if the latter looks white and speaks main-stream American English. What is “main-stream American English” anyway? I suppose if you speak like a CNN anchor you are main-stream. If you speak like me, or like someone who just moved to California from Louisiana, then you are not.

I was born in Hongkong many years ago. Hongkong back then was a British colony. I was not considered a British citizen but I was a British “subject.” That sounds a little more dignified than being an “object” I suppose.

In the mid-1970’s I left Hongkong and went to college in the United States. I liked this country and I decided to stay. I’ve been here ever since. And I proudly consider myself an American citizen, with two native-born American children who speak mostly main-stream American English.

Some people still ask me where I came from when I am in the United States – and in Hongkong, Singapore, Taiwan and China. That truly happened when I traveled to Chinese-looking and Chinese-speaking places. So my theory of implicit and unconscious white supremacy on the part of the questioner doesn’t hold any more. People ask me that question not because I am non-white, but because I am … weird. God, the truth hurts.

My point is this. Try not to ask an English speaker this question the first time you meet him. You may offend him with a seemingly benign inquiry. On the other hand, if you are the recipient of that question don’t get mad. The inquirer may be genuinely interested in knowing more about you. Or he may just be a tactless bigot, in which case you don’t want to waste your breath on him.

This is the holiday season. Do try to be happy and tolerant of other people whether their eyes and noses look like yours or not. It doesn’t matter. We don’t have to be twins to be friends.

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